Hello, please refer to me as Indigo.
I am a 64 year old single Anglo-Australian woman on a journey of self discovery which began with the passing of my much loved mother early in 2017. Mum had been my live in companion and I, her Carer, for three and a half years prior to her death. Coming to terms with the death of someone you love is hard, however I’ve since discovered that coming to terms with re-emerging life in the aftermath of a death can also be very difficult…
During the time mum and I lived together my sexual energies had become dormant. Therefore the unexpected reemergence of my sexuality a few days after Mums’ death was a shocking, yet welcome event which challenged both my sense of self, and vision for the future. It has become one of life’s pivotal moments leading to an ongoing search for emotional, creative and sexual well being. This blog documents aspects of this search.
Writing this blog allows me to explore ways in which my imagination and memory, aesthetic, intellectual and sensual being contribute to a changing sense of identity. While I claim neither expertise nor superiority in these matters I aim to approach this writing with candour, curiosity and openness to opportunities and challenges which present to me along the way.
The posts document my journey with some playful asides, the pages feature links to aspects of the Imagination, Creativity and Sexuality.
Nothing I write here is universal or should be regarded as prescriptive for others. and in the event that I receive support or remuneration from any products or services mentioned in my writing I will clearly state this.
I am a semi-retired academic, an artist and educator, mostly heterosexual in my orientation. Consequently I occupy a relatively privileged and mostly mainstream position, in a country where there is a degree of tolerance of women’s sexuality. Despite this I still feel the need to maintain a position of relative anonymity (hence my blogging name Indigo) in order to protect myself from malice and predation. Some behaviours are hard to get past, and sexism and ageism are not far below the surface. Throughout my life I have managed to maintain a positive approach to my body and my sexuality despite various inner and external pressures, and as I move deeper into my 60’s I have renewed resolve to continue to keep it so. This involves finding ways of being in the world that are new to me, if not, perhaps, to others. It is therefore, with a good deal of bemusement, that I note some emerging behavioural similarities between my late, much loved mother and myself, as I begin to be mindful of my physical appearance and health.
Because I discuss issues of sex and death frankly, this blog is not for everyone. However I chose to write about my emotions and experiences in the hopes of inspiring other older women to compare, consider and perhaps explore the issues I raise. I hope it’s useful for you…