Taking my babes to toyland


          My goodies arrived within a week, discreetly packaged as promised, an event that easily rivaled my last few birthdays in excitement. The hours of “research” seemed to have paid off with what I then regarded as a modest yet nicely balanced selection of quality toys.

I already knew some of the limits of my aging body and aesthetic tolerances (although these boundaries have been tested over time). No hard plastic vibrators and no “lifelike” body parts. Body safe silicon and rechargeable rather than battery powered. A toy for penetration and one for my clitoris. I was especially interested in clitoral vibrators being keen to replicate the feel of the orgasm that started me on this journey. My selections weren’t cheap but at that time I assumed it was a finite expense rather than a full blown obsession (!)

My first choice was what I have learnt to refer to as a tulip vibrator, elegant, solid and slender with a suggestion of petals part way up. Made by Lelo, ‘Iris’ is a deep rose pink and seemed to promise both penetration and extra physical stimulation via its little petal-like ridges. Unfortunately I hadn’t considered the atrophied state of my post menopausal vagina – in suspended animation for three and a half years. The mental appeal of my ridged vibrator was quickly diminished as the physical reality of thinner and drier vaginal walls became apparent. Persistence bought on a urinary tract infection, and the realisation I needed more juice than my body could provide, especially as the silicone toys cling to the vagina. This clingy-ness sounds sexy in the descriptions but I found it isn’t always the case in practice.

A quick late night visit to the supermarket was in order. While I now know that not all lubricants are created equal, at the time I was simply appreciative of the difference it made. Regardless of the brand (and I’ve tested a few and read what others have written as well) I find I need to renew the lube quite frequently to avoid too much friction. I discovered this the hard way (no pun intended) when arousal has make me oblivious to discomfort on several occasions.

My second choice was the weirdly named and oddly shaped “Womaniser”. A “clitoral vibrator”, it operates using “non-touch suction” around the clitoris. Or, as I explained to a friend – you don’t stick it in you, you stick it on you! In the absence of a partner this seemed to promise the satisfaction I was craving. And it did. Half an hour into my first session there it was, intense tingling warmth building like a sneeze, followed by rhythmic clitoral pulsations. Delighted that I could finally replicate my rare nocturnal orgasms (as against a totally different sensation experienced previously during masturbation), I set out to explore the sensations in greater depth…


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