A bit of a theme emerged in my reader this week. It wasn’t sexy in the usual sense of the word, but it did reflect relationships and eroticism and it was very thought provoking (which I find sexy). I found it a challenge especially since I spent the week with my oldest friend whose partner of nine years had died suddenly. As I listened to my friend mourning, remembering the beauty and love she had experienced and ostensibly lost, joy and hope also emerged. We talked about ourselves as older women on our later life journeys, we made space to talk about the past as well as the present and the future. In the midst of discussing catastrophic brain aneurysms, funerals and incomplete plans, we also talked about vibrators, sex, old lovers and our bodies.
As humans we are often far keener to focus on erotic relationships than death, yet death is deserving of our attention. It can be beautiful, wicked, sensuous, heartbreaking, ugly, challenging and growth making. Death can unlock deep, fascinating stories and uncover cracks which have been papered over for convenience, duty, civility or as a form of duplicity, as I was reminded during the recent sojourn with my friend.
As you may or may not be aware, it was the death of my mother which started me blogging and I hope this post may also encourage my readers to have a look at the Persephone’s Realm side of my blog which addresses a number of aspects of death. I find it mildly fascinating that my sexy friends don’t tend to go there, and my death friends are not fascinated by the erotica.
An assortment of connections between death, erotica and relationship mysteriously emerged in this weeks choices, I hope you find them as interesting as I did…
The first post I read was an excellent and thought provoking article by Sam Wall who is involved with the DeadMaidens and Death and the Maiden collectives, and who also writes for Scarleteen. As someone with a long standing interest in folk songs I found Murder Ballads, Gender and Who Deserves to Die a fascinating expose of cultural values around the killing of women and by women.
Returning to my notes upon returning home I discovered another piece of writing by Ina Morata whose writing I featured in an earlier #SoSS. Casualty of a Situation is a powerful meditation on culture, death and motherhood. Its confronting, but worth reading…
I then turned to CakeorDeath, who shared a poem My Evil is Stronger from his just released e-book collection of 69 poems/short stories entitled Motion no. 69. This darkly erotic, predatory and apocalyptic poem intrigued me enough to want to read more of his collection.
WhentheWhipporwillsSing has offered a creepy tale of the eroticized attraction to death and death dealing in her story Haunted.
However death does not necessarily mean the end of someone’s life but may refer to the end of something such as the death of a relationship. Hannah Lockhardt’s poignant and open-hearted Letter to Myself addresses the need to care for oneself in the aftermath of a death (in this instance the death of a relationship). It is a letter of hope and forgiveness, despite the pain, and I found her loving, generous spirit inspiring.