Indigo’s Mum

Throughout my life I have generally managed to maintain a positive approach to my +size body and my sexuality despite various inner and external pressures. As I move deeper into my 60’s I have a renewed resolve to keep it so, and support others in their desire to claim their own space. This may involve finding ways of being in the world that are new to me, if not, perhaps, to others.

It is therefore, with a good deal of bemusement, that I note some emerging behavioural similarities between my late, much loved mother and myself, as I begin to be more mindful of caring for my physical appearance and health, while regaining an appreciation for laughter, play, sensuality and people.

Mum not only lived but somehow thrived, as did a surprising number of her generation, through the Great Depression and WW2. She endured and found ways to live with my fathers own life-long battle with (undiagnosed) war induced PTSD; resultant alcohol addiction and terminal illness. She tolerated and supported both her wayward children in lifestyles which were often quite foreign to her, and she never said no to a good party, the company of friends, a glass of wine and “something naughty to nibble on”. In many ways Mum was an archetypal Aphrodite…

I witnessed the joy and later the deep sadness when she unexpectedly found love and a feeling of being cherished again in her late sixties, only to lose that love to dementia, a few years later. Despite this she found ways to continue, but the substantial loss of her  vision, the gradual loss of her memory, successive deaths of her dearest friends and only son was compounded by the upheaval of moving from the home she loved in a town that had been familiar for over 60 years.

These events turned her inwards again for a while, yet she somehow remade her life again, at first in close proximity to me, my daughter and her great grandchildren, and then in my constant company.  My Aphrodite Mum was not a large player on the stage of history, yet she spread kindness and joy where ever she went and her ability to immerse herself in beauty, self-care, art making and an active social life was, and remains, inspiring…


RIP SJP 1925-201

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